Identity Ink

There's a tattoo joint in Lubbock called Identity Ink.  It's not necessarily the premier location to get tatted but it's got a feel about it that is interesting.  I really like their name.  It says something about the permanence of getting a tattoo, about how what we put on our body is a branch of how we define ourselves. 

I say all of this to say, that there is something that happens when we define ourselves with permanent features.  Marriage, Death, Divorce, Pregnant, Parent, etc.  The permanent decision that you made or that happened in your life, defines you.  Your identity is forever changed.  You can never be un-married again.  Even if you get divorced, it's not like you really go back to being single.  Especially if kids are involved.  You are always linked together. 

As a Christian, ideally the main thing that would permanently identify my life is, well, Christian.  I know that. 

But I am really amazed at the process in which Cancer has taken over.  It's similar to the "Scarlet Letter" feeling I had for so many years.  Every conversation, every financial decision, every twinge or new body dynamic consistently reminds me of the "C" word.  Even when conversation isn't about me having cancer, it hangs in the air like an elephant in the room.  I cannot think of one single thing that I go through each day that isn't somehow defined by cancer.  Peeing in the morning, showering in the morning, getting a haircut the other day...all filtered through the cancer lens. 

If only my life could have been so permeated by Christ.  The other "C" word. 

I think when I hear the word "remission", I'm going to get a tattoo.  I just won't tell my daddy, cause he would disown me.  I've got an image in my mind already, I just need to have someone draw it up.